Kunst

Kunst #8: Put in work

geschreven door 11 augustus 2020
relatie communicatie

‘Spicy and feminine art’, dat is wat kunstenaar LILO maakt. Zij laat zich inspireren door filosofie, psychologie, en emotionele en erotische intelligentie. Haar werk zal regelmatig te bewonderen zijn op Bedmanieren.nl. Vandaag plaatsen wij haar achtste kunstwerk en gedicht.


Put in work

commercials, romantic movies, porn and lack of information,
create a cultural expectation
That all we have to do is meet “the one” and then we’re done
We have never been told, that to maintain a good relationship
to have a healthy sex life, you actually have to put in work

We get frustrated and upset when we’re not getting our needs met
This is not where I signed up for, I just want to be a normal couple…

“The normal” couple these days
is represented by 2 people’s stories of shame
and their silence,
not being able to be who they truly are
Where they don’t know how to communicate
and hold each other accountable,
to fulfil their needs and give them love

when you feel something negative from your partner’s action
it doesn’t necessarily mean
that the other person is wrong or responsible
A lot of times we are triggered in automatic behavior,
our childhood survival systems

when you feel hurt it works best if you communicate,
from the most vulnerable place
Explain how you feel unseen, not good enough, lonely,
instead of you did this to me,
Using reflection and showing your vulnerability
creates room for the other to do the same thing

create a neutral 3rd party called “us”
that helps us to see it from another perspective
the neutral partner
wants both of us to feel happy

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